"The people I know who are happily partnered didn’t have to slog through all these terrible dates over the years." HAHAHA! That's hysterical, said me, the woman who got married at 51. Do you think "slogging through dates" is something new? Do you think rejection, disappointment, jerks, non-starters, and bad actors are new too? I went through it all, and it still goes on today. Your advice to yourself is 100% right though: relax, enjoy your life, and stay open to the possibilities. That's what I did, and I highly recommend it.